Twas the Night Before Christmas: Apartment Living Remix

Twas the night before Christmas, when all through MY home,

not a Sawyer was stirring, not even a moan;

The stockings were hung by the bar stools with care,

in hopes that Mom would remember to stuff stuff in there.

Baby Gray was all swaddled and snug in his bed

while Mom tried to get more than one page read.

And Mom in her jammies and Dad in his too,

Had just settled in to watch Big Bang Theory, Season Two.

When out on the porch there arose such a racket

Dad sprang from the couch and grabbed his Apple jacket.

Away to the peep hole, he flew so fast,

He tripped over Sawyer, but got there at last.

The moon shone so bright on the carport and ground

But we still didn't know what was to be found.

When what to our wondering eyes should appear

But three teenage boys and a cooler of beer.

With their hats all askew and their pant hung so low

We knew in a moment, away they must go!

More deadly than fire, Mom's death stares they came,

She stared and she shooed them and Dad did the same.

"Now, go boys! Now, go boys, right home to your Mamas!

Enough of your dumb, adolescent drama."

To their feet they arose and off went the rest

"Crazy Lady!" they mumbled as they scurried and left.

Later that evening, when all was just right,

Again we awoke and oh what a sight.

We ran from our room only to see,

Santa shoving lots of stuff under the tree.

His eyes, how they twinkled! His dimples, how merry!

His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!

He had a broad face and a round little belly,

That shook when he laughed, like a bowl full of jelly.

He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,

And I screamed when I saw him, in spite of myself.

"We don't have a chimney! How DID you get in?!"

"Why, the back door of course. It's been unlocked since who knows when."

He finished his work while we stood there in shock

And as soon as he left, we made sure it was locked.

Out the window we watched as he got in his sleigh

We stood there and hesitantly gave him a wave.

We heard him exclaim as he drove out of sight,

"Merry Christmas to all and to Y'ALL a good night."